I’m coming back to this blog. And chances are looking good – because my intuition keeps pulling me in this direction – that when my paid webhosting is up for renewal in a couple of years, I’m not going to pay. My author website, as well as my healthy living and homeschooling blogs, will go bye-bye. Why?
Because I was never supposed to get sucked into the online business world in the first place.
When I last cancelled my webhosting, and later began this free blog, I knew both decisions were right because both gave me joy. But then…
Why I abandoned this blog
…I began to listen to all the wrong voices. One voice was of the devil, whispering that I had to try to make a full-time income online. I know it was the enemy because of the fear and anxiety the thoughts brought.
Another voice was the world’s, the world that lusts after money, that told me that I’d never make serious money unless I got paid webhosting, then wrote blog posts that catered to the Almighty Google’s algorithm.
Before I’d even started this blog, I’d begun self-publishing Christian romance novels to the Kindle store. Also not God’s plan for me. But as I went along, reading blog posts and listening to podcasts about self-publishing, I let the world convince me that in order to be taken seriously as an author, I had to have an author blog with paid webhosting.
Long story short
Except for the period that I kept up this blog, I’ve spent the past seven years out of God’s will. I’m wondering now how much of the anxiety and negative thoughts I’ve experienced were truly due to perimenopausal hormone imbalances. I’m beginning to think much of it was due to me walking away from the will of God for my life.
Why I’m back
I can’t tell you the whole of what I feel God is calling me to do. But I can say with certainty that instead of writing novels these past several years, I should have been spending time with my son, engaging him in activities that would have never tempted him toward YouTube and video games. I should have been practicing the presence of God. I should have kept on with this blog, finding joy in the homesteading journey despite the setbacks and trials.
In other words, for the past seven years, I’ve been running away from God, ignoring my duties as a mother and making money an idol. I’ve repented from all that now. Drawing closer to the Lord than I ever have, I’ve rediscovered the joy in homesteading, the joy in mothering, and the joy of writing without having to engage in the worldly marketing and business world.
I may be wrong, but right now I feel that I’ll eventually have pages on this blog that promote my novels. I don’t feel that I’m supposed to unpublish them, or that doing occasional promotions is going to go against God’s plan for me. Not yet, anyway.
Just so you don’t accuse me of hypocrisy. ;)
And, who knows? I may write more novels in the future. If I do, you can be sure they will be overtly spiritual, overtly Gospel-oriented. And they will not be romances! If I do write another novel, I have a small fan base that “loves” my work, and I want to give them a place to check back to every once in a while to see if I’ve published a new book.
But mostly? I’m going to be letting the Holy Spirit lead me, moment by moment, and never again get caught up in the demands of the world.
And one of directions the Spirit is leading me strongly is to reboot this blog.
Consider it rebooted. ;)
