Thursday, January 29, 2015

Stop Comma Abuse!

Okay, boys and girls, today we’re going to have a punctuation lesson. We’re going to learn the difference between a period and a comma.

But first, we need to learn what a sentence is. Can anybody tell me?...Very good, Billy. A sentence is a group of words that includes a subject and a predicate; in other words, the noun or pronoun that the sentence is about, and the action that noun or pronoun takes. Forms of the verb to be – am, is, are – are also considered predicates.

You will read this sentence as an example.

In that sentence, you is the subject, will read is the predicate. That is a complete sentence, which is punctuated by a period at the end of it. Does that make sense? Are there any questions?

All right, boys and girls, now that we understand what a sentence is, let’s move on to the focus of this lesson: the period and the comma. A period (.) goes at the end of a complete sentence. A comma (,) is used to separate items in a list, or to separate phrases within a sentence.

What follow are three appropriate uses for a comma.

Jenny ate eggs, salad, and an apple for lunch.
In that sentence, commas are used to list more than two items.

When I got home, I sat down on the couch.
Here, the phrase “when I got home” is a phrase that modifies the sentence that follows, “I sat down on the couch.”

Peter ran to the window, opened the curtain, and rapped on the glass.
In this sentence we have another kind of list, a series of actions that Peter achieves. Like the list of the items Jenny eats, this list is separated by commas.

Now, boys and girls, let’s look at an example of how to use a period.

The healthiest way to eat is to choose foods in their most natural forms possible. For example, eat whole apples instead of applesauce.

Do you see how a period separates the two complete sentences in that example?

Unfortunately, I have noticed a nasty trend among self-published non-fiction authors lately. Instead of using a period to end a complete sentence, they string together two, three, sometimes even four sentences with commas. This is what is known as a run-on sentence. Can you say, “run-on sentence”? Good!

Now, boys and girls, I’m going to show you a paragraph. Please look at it carefully. Has the writer used commas correctly? Here it is:

He likes buying things that entertain or amuse him, I do as well however I’m just as content with leaving those things on the store shelf. I’m a window shopper, I just browse. Don’t get me wrong, I like nice stuff and cool things as much as the next guy but I don’t necessarily need them, most of the time I acquire these things when they’ve lost a little popularity….

Okay, who can tell me the mistakes in this piece of writing?...Yes, Taylor?

Excellent! Yes, there should be a period, not a comma, after the words “amuse him.” That ends a complete sentence, and the following three or so lines are another complete sentence. One usually separates two complete sentences with a period, not a comma.

Next?...Jane?... Brilliant! There should be a comma after “I do as well.” A semi-colon might be an even better choice.

There’s one more – Danny… All right! You got it, dude! After “I don’t necessarily need them,” there should be a period. And the word “most” should start with an uppercase letter. Those are two complete sentences. They should not be joined by a comma.


Very good, boys and girls! I think you’ve got it. So now, I want you to turn on your computers, open the document that you uploaded as a book to the Kindle store, and fix all those nasty run-on sentences that make educated readers wonder where you went to school, and tempt them to go back to your book’s product page and give you a one-star review. 

Monday, January 26, 2015

I'm BA-ack!

I’m back.

What can I say? Being temporarily immobilized depresses me. I have been working on novels since about the third week after my surgery – I figured out I could put my NEO2 in my lap and then my slinged (is that a word?) left hand could comfortably place itself to type – but I lost all desire to blog.

Maybe if we’d had Internet at home, I would have bothered to post to this blog once in a while. But on top of being depressed because I couldn’t even wash dishes for a while (can you imagine being depressed about that?), I was growing more and more frustrated with the slow Internet connection at our local library. Trying to order from Amazon was the worst. So I quit blogging.

But now, I’m back. So here are some updates about your favorite author (right? RIGHT?) since she broke her humerus (not funny at all) last October.

The garden

Shortly before I broke my arm, I promised you that I’d tell you how my sweet potato and bell pepper harvest turned out.

I’ll start with the peppers. The humidity finally dropped some and it finally quit raining every other day, long enough for the peppers to get happy again and grow some fruit. However, it was so late in the season that happened that I was forced to pick green peppers after the first couple of frosts. That is to say, I was forced to ask my son to pick them. My arm was still in a sling and still hurt like heck.
One night it was going to get too cold for the frost blanket to protect the plants very much. So B picked them that afternoon, and J cut them into strips and froze them.

Now, for the sweet potatoes. Are you ready? Yes, they grew. Boy, did they grow! Some of them are as big as a small head! Here are a couple of photos to prove it (the jar in the second and third photos is a 16-ounce peanut butter jar):



Once again, credit where it’s due, B harvested most of the sweet potatoes all by himself. I was only a week or two out of surgery when I realized they needed to be dug up, or would be lost to frost.

I ended up with close to the amount that I’d been hoping for. A few dozen have been stored in our house in a box, the rest are in a makeshift “root cellar”, basically a hole in the ground lined with hay and covered with leftover roofing material from when J built the shed this past summer.

I am thrilled that we can grow our own sweet potatoes. Can you say, “save money on groceries”? After all, organic sweet potatoes at Whole Foods cost about two dollars a pound.

My arm

I went to see the orthopedic surgeon on Monday of this week. He took one look at my x-ray and said, “You’re healed. You don’t need anymore x-rays or anything.”

I’ve still got to keep exercising my arm several times a day to get all the muscles and joints back into commission, but I was very happy to hear it, though not surprised. I’d used therapeutic-grade birch essential oils for several weeks, twice a day, on my arm. Birch oil helps regrow bone cells.

My writing

I think it was late last summer, maybe very early fall that I promised to have another book published to Kindle by November. Well, I did have it completed and proofread by then.

And then I decided I didn’t like it. I found several things wrong with it. So wrong, that I’m not sure I can change it to what I want it to be without completely rewriting it. So it’s sitting in the novel folder on my laptop, serving as a lesson, and a reminder: not every novel is worthy of publication.

Since finishing that, I began a trilogy. I will publish all three novels, within a couple of days of each other, once I’ve written and proofread all three.

I’ve finished one, and am approaching the halfway point of the second.

The Internet

We finally broke down and bought Internet service for our home. Originally, we were going to try to just go to the library to do our online business. A few months ago, we decided that was getting old, and would buy Internet service once we moved into our new house (which is scheduled to begin building the first week of April).

But I couldn’t stand the stress anymore. The stress of pushing B to get ready whenever we wanted to go to the library. The stress of wasting time going somewhere else to check e-mail and the weather. The stress of not knowing what the weather was going to be (there’s no radio station nearby that I want to listen to, and no way was I going to buy that Noah radio thingy and have another gadget to find room for in this tiny house). The worst stress was the slow Internet connection at the library, especially on days when we really wanted to order on amazon but couldn’t get past the home page!

So we bought wireless Internet. Our other option here is satellite, but check this out: to get 25 GB a month with satellite, you have to pay $129. To get that much with wireless depends on the speed you opt for: fast, faster, or fastest. Of course, being frugal we opted for the least expensive option. Guess what we’ll pay for 25 GB a month with wireless? (And the speed is equal to the Fios Internet we had in the ‘burbs!)

TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS A MONTH. Fios was, a-hem, $63 a month.

So I’ll be posting with more regularity now. Thanks for coming to welcome me back, and hope to see you around again.

Happy reading,

Emily Josephine